inserted from Mizz Jibbz column:
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1. In Touch mag claims that Brad Pitt moved out of the house! Wait a minute, how are they gonna adopt all the children of the Eastern countries if they’re not together!? This truly is a catastrophe.
2. John Mayer is supposedly seeing a 23 year old model and wannabe actress named Scheana Marie Jancan. His really making his rounds, and cleary doesn’t discriminate.
3. Jay Leno was feeling ill and went to the hospital. Thursdays show was cancelled because of it. He’s expected to be back to work on Monday. I wonder what they’ll run. Probably an ad for pen!le implants.
4. Britney got her cheap @ss extensions pulled out while performing at her Oakland, CA concert this week. Please take a look at the funny little mishap (just wait til she finishes gyrating on the couch – :34)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jutGnC3JzRI
5. Hayden Panettiere got her house broken into. The thieves stole $15,000 worth of jewelry. $15k, that’s it? You make that in 20 minutes. Celebrities can be so selfish sometimes.
6. This next item is making me laugh just writing about it. KFed is in discussions to become the next NutriSystem spokesperson. You really put the OUCH in D0uche. I don’t know what you did in your past life, but you really got a sucky one this time around.
7. Lady Gaga, I understand that you’re one of those artsy fartsy eclectic types (or so you think) but that outfit just really makes me want to (vomit – attachment 1.) I think we should shorten your name to Lady Gag…much better.
8. Lindsay talks about her break-up on Ellen. Referring to right before the break-up she says, “I had no idea what was going on.I just hadn’t seen her in like a week. She, like, disappeared.” Then she said, “I think [the breakup has] been really good for me. I thought it would be so much harder and it hasn’t been…” Umm…you thought it would be harder?? Like what…you wanting to fall of a cliff?? Sheesh woman. You’re clearly in denial – you drama queen. All this hoopla about the break up and then I find out that Lindsay was hangin’ out at Sam’s house last night. Sam just got back from Hawaii and texted Lindsay that she missed her. All’s fair in love and lezzies.
9. Terrence Howard is still complaining about how he wasn’t chosen to be in “Iron Man 2.” He says, “Marvel made a choice, and it was a very, very bad choice (he was replaced w/ Don Cheadle.) They didn’t keep their word. They didn’t honor my contract…They did the same thing with Gwyneth Paltrow , from what I’ve been told. They did it with everyone but Robert Downey. One of the things that actors need to do is always stick together: one for all, and all for one. I’m definitely looking forward to seeing the movie. I want to see Don Cheadle become me. No, I want him to do better than me. That’s what I really want to see. Don Cheadle was the reason I got ‘Crash,’ so I have a lot of love for him.” Um…ok. you don’t sound bitter at all. In the interview, he also says he believes in karma, yea well…I only look at you as a wife-beater now so karma’s a b!atch! As for Don, I’d sleep w/ one eye open if I were you.
10. Jessica Simpson’s been pressuring Tony Romo into marrying her (cause hey that’s just how debutantes do it in Texas.) But Tony refuses to marry the girl until she stops partying and drinking. What…Tony…are you sure about this? I actually think she’s smarter when she’s drunk; do you really want to miss out on her stints of smartness?
11. Matt Lauer’s wife, Annette, has him by the balls…literally. Back in 2006 she filed for divorce but then retracted it (probably because she realized she’d be stupid to leave his money-makin’ @ss.) Anyway, it looks like Annette has made herself a little list of all the women that Matt’s wiggled his bean w/ over the years, while he’s been married to her. She’s threatening to go public w/ this list if he messes up just one more time. Annette…you should definitely lead the Lorena Bobbit Women’s Movement.
12. Denise Richards made a parody and it’s her best acting yet! She starts out by saying that most people know her from being a “Hollywood celebrity” or from her “E! reality show” but face facts Denise…most people know you cause you got down and dirty in “Wild Things” w/ Neve Campbell while your Funbags were freeballing.
Check out Denise Richards as she promotes her Funbags. (1:48)
13. Ali Lohan, your shorts are really (too long – attachment 2.) We can’t see enough of your cheeks. If you’re really aspiring to be like sister Lindsay, you should be drunk and panty-less by now. Don’t the crazy women in your family teach you anything!?
14. Paris Hilton, a dog in your cr0tch is (really not s-xy – attachment 3.)
15. Zoe, I know you too are trying to be s-xy, but you look (more sickly than anything – attachment 4.) The bottom half of your bathing suit looks like it’s ready to slide right off.
16. David Letterman called Spencer Pratt a “putz” and a “snake” on his show last night, while interviewing Lauren Conrad. I knew I liked that guy.
17. FHM revealed their S-xiest Women in the World of 2009. Here’s the list of the top 10 of the women we’d most likely know:
2. Megan Fox 3. Jessica Alba 4. Britney 6. Adriana Lima 7. Elisha Cuthbert 8. Kristin Kreuk 10. Freida Pinto. The number one woman is Cheryl Cole (a group member of British singing group Girls Aloud.) I mean, the girl is ok…I definitely don’t think she’s better than Megan Fox, Adriana Lima or Freida Pinto. Since I have my strong opinions on the matter, I’d like you to take a look at the (Comparisons of Mz. Jibbz’ Hottest Women of 2009 – attachment 5.) On the left would be Cheryl Cole and on the right would be Susan Boyle and her fancy-to-die-for new look. Who the hell are the editors at FHM!? I mean come on…how could Susan Boyle not top that list!?
Mz. Jibbz’ Picks:
Ok people, the weekend’s here and I’ve got the perfect music to get you pumped for it! Check out the mixes & sounds of DJ Joseph Gettright. For the Los Angeleans he’s actually works with Power106 and is a good friend of mine. He’s got Electro and mixes w/ some of the oldies and current music. Check out his mixes:
http://www.josephgettright.com/music.html
And if you ever want to go to his Sushi Sundays weekly, feel free to do so!
HALF OFF SPECIALS ALL NIGHT.. INCLUDES SUSHI, BEER, SAKE & WINE
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=86512432526&ref=ts
Happy Friday!
Note that anything Mizz Jibbz writes on the Cheese MAY or MAY NOT be true. These are all rumors and speculations so if something is right or wrong…don’t blame the messenger. She’s merely doing it for your entertainment.
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Thanks Mizz Jibbz
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J.